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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bath and bedtime battles



The power struggle: Your child knows that getting out of the bathtub means bedtime is close, so no way is she leaving the water willingly! As for bedtime, she fights it every pajama-clad step of the way. It's becoming a nightly sparring period for your family.
Sneaky strategies
Tune in. Steal a method that stores and movie producers employ all the time -- using music to influence people's moods. Calming tunes subliminally puts Kellie Pease's three children into bedtime mode without her ever saying a word.
Each child has a favorite disc that the Derby, CT, mom pops into a CD player during bath- and storytime to help them wind down. This works especially well with strong-willed kids, who may have a hard time relaxing enough on their own to be ready to go to sleep.
Play the "yes" game. Try this clever strategy from Stiffelman: Ask your child questions that will prompt her to answer "yes" at least three times in a row, such as "Wow, you're having a great time playing with those bath toys, aren't you?" (Yep!) "What about bringing your swimming goggles into the bath with you next time? Would that be fun?" (Hey, yeah, that's a good idea!)
"Does that dinosaur float? Can you show me?" (Sure I can! Just watch this!) The "three yeses" help break down your child's resistance, and she also feels like she's been heard and understood.
Offer options. Gently guide her toward the next step with two choices, such as "Do you want to dry yourself off with the towel or should I help you?" Don't announce that bathtime is over; simply start the process.
Move seamlessly through the getting-ready-for-bed routine, offering two options at a time along the way, such as "Which book should we read before bed -- X or Y?" If your child balks at the choices -- "Neither! I'm not going to bed!" -- respond calmly, "That wasn't one of the choices. Did you want this book or that one?" Repeat calmly as needed.
Stiffelman says stubborn kids hate hearing parents sound like broken records, and they usually give in. If they don't, simply say "Okay, I guess you've chosen not to have a book tonight. Good night, sweetie! We'll try again tomorrow night!" Lights-out. And don't give in, even if your kid puts up a fuss. Sticking to your word practically guarantees you won't have a repeat episode tomorrow night.
Establish a connection. Before actually moving your kids toward the bedroom, use a technique psychotherapist Susan Stiffelman, of Malibu, CA, calls "Connect Before You Direct." Take a few minutes to sit beside your child and show interest in the game he's playing or TV show he's watching.
Ask a few well-placed questions or say something supportive like "I can see why you like this show -- it's really funny!" When kids feel connected to you, they're much more likely to do what you ask next, says Stiffelman, the author of "Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected".
Negotiate a new bedtime. Bigger kids' sleep habits are starting to change as they head toward tweendom. If you prefer your child be in bed with the lights out at 8:30 p.m., but he swears he's not tired until 9 p.m., strike a deal that he must be in his room and quiet -- not coming out repeatedly to bug you -- at 8:30.
Then he can stay up and read or play quietly, and you'll trust him to put himself into bed when 9 p.m. rolls around. Strong-willed kids see this kind of deal as a "win" on their part because it gives them an added measure of independence.
But be clear that if your child breaks the deal -- by being loud, coming out of his room, or ignoring the new curfew -- you'll go back to the earlier lights-out time

Dinnertime dynamics


The power struggle: Your child refuses all veggies, eats only white foods, or insists he isn't hungry at all. You fear he'll starve, and you resent his attitude after you've worked so hard to prepare the meal.
Sneaky strategies
Start small. Give picky eaters very small portions of everything you're serving, then let them choose what they want to eat, if anything, recommends child-development and behavior specialist Betsy Brown Braun, the Pacific Palisades, CA, author of "You're Not the Boss of Me: Brat-Proofing Your 4- to 12-Year-Old Child".
The critical key to your sneakiness: Don't say a word about the food. No pushing your child to try just a bite. "Talk about your day, the weather, anything other than food, since that's what picky eaters are waiting for -- a chance to fight with you," says Brown Braun.
Dish up a dessert. If you know your child is just biding his time until he gets his end-of-the-meal treat, don't deny him, but do make sure it's super small, like one chocolate kiss or a vanilla-wafer cookie, Brown Braun says. You can even put it on the plate with dinner so your child knows that's all he's going to get.
That way, there's no more bargaining with your child to eat "real food" in return for sweets. He gets dessert no matter what, and you won't feel like you're caving in, because the treat is so small and unexciting. Plus, there's no way that little dessert will fill your child up.
If he's still hungry -- and he will be -- he'll have to go back to his entrée and the accompanying veggies!
Keep your cool. Have one unchanging food alternative your child can make himself if he doesn't want what you're serving. It should be easy, nutritious, something you always have on hand, and not require cooking.
Think beans, yogurt, hummus, or even the good old PB&J sandwich, suggests child and family therapist (and mom of three kids) Wendy Young of Newberry, MI. "Even three-year-olds can smear peanut butter on bread, and it's important for stubborn kids to be in charge of the alternate food," she says.
After a few meals of this, most kids will weary of preparing (and eating) their alternate food and give in to what you're serving. If your child decides to eat nothing at all, Young suggests supporting his decision and calmly acknowledging, "No problem. You can have a big breakfast tomorrow."
Really headstrong kids can carry on this act for a long time, however, so be prepared. The most important thing here is to keep calm and not have an emotional reaction. Encouraging, but never forcing, your child to eat a variety of foods should be the main objective.
Keep in mind, too, that tastes change over time, so what a child refuses to eat today may actually be well-liked in several months

Wardrobe willfulness

The power struggle: Your little fashionista pushes to wear clothes that you think look silly or are inappropriate for the weather, not to mention continually changing outfits in the time-pressed morning.
Sneaky strategies
Clean out the closet. First off, having too many clothes adds fuel to the fire here. If your child's closet is bulging, parenting educator Sharon Silver suggests rotating an assortment of clothes every few weeks (move the extras into bins out of sight) or simply putting away out-of-season items.
If there's anything in your child's closet that you consider inappropriate (too-tight pants, ripped or stained shirts, fuzzy boots in summer), you're the parent: Remove them. Argument over.
Pick your battles. Every evening before bed, narrow down your child's clothing options to two or three ensembles from which she can choose for the next day. But remember: Allowing your kid to make the final decision is still important. "Like adults, kids feel more comfortable all day long if they are wearing clothes that feel and fit them right for that particular day," says Silver.
Another sneaky secret: laying out the complete outfit the night before, to head off manic morning battles.
Ignore the weather. As for the coat conundrum, "Just let it go," says Silver. If your child doesn't want to wear a jacket, "Stay quiet, then listen for the chattering teeth in the backseat or while you're walking," she says.
You could also let your kid either carry it or put it in her backpack just in case (again, two choices you're fine with). Sneaky parents let strong-willed kids learn the value of outerwear on their own, because that's usually how they learn best.
We all know...A man who travels alone ..travels the fastest..My daughter teaches me how to travel together....

Homework hassles



The power struggle: Your child constantly whines for your help when you know she's capable of doing homework herself, or is still finishing up assignments when it's bedtime.
Sneaky strategies
Break it down. First, consider that your child's stubbornness or whining may actually be a sign that she's overwhelmed by her schoolwork or has trouble focusing. If that's the case, try breaking down her tasks into smaller increments (two math problems, three spelling words written out, etc.) and letting her jump up and down or run laps around the room as a break before she goes back for more work.
Use the timer approach for tough cases: Your child works for ten minutes, takes a one- to two-minute break, then works for another ten minutes. Most kids can do almost anything for just ten minutes at a stretch!

Do a disappearing act.


Make it fun. Could your son do his required reading in a tent you make with a table and a sheet? By flashlight in a dark room? Could your child practice her spelling while bouncing a ball or jumping rope (as the main character did in the movie "Akeelah and the Bee")? Give it a shot.
 If you're confident your child really can handle things on her own, purposely move to a different part of the house while she does her homework, suggests Brown Braun. Make it a rule that she must come to you if she has any questions, not vice versa.
Of course, you'll want to check in with her about halfway through and at the end to be sure she's on track. But if your student has to climb a flight of stairs to ask for help or lug a heavy textbook to you, she may learn to take a minute to think on her own before she seeks you out.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Aastha- Left Her Wings...




I have this little angel. For me she left her wings.
She has no idea how much happiness she truly brings.
She brightens up my days with her smiles and her laughs.
She helps me to remember all the blessings that I have.

Her face, it is so perfect, she's sweet and soft and pure.
Sometimes she can be willful and sometimes she is demure.
She tries her very hardest to please and do what's right.
She gives the greatest hugs from morning until night.

Every person that has known her sees this light within her soul
I know that in this whole great world, she has a special role.
She's helpful and considerate to everyone she knows
This light in her shines brighter as my angel grows.

When she sees someone is sad, it opens up her heart.
She wants to do all that she can; she wants to do her part.
She'll squeeze away the sorrow and make me forget about my pain.
She shows me where the sun is when we're hiding from the rain.

I know that God must love me, He showed me with His Grace
I knew just how completely when I saw my angel's face.
And in that very moment when she came into my world,
I knew that she was so much more than just my baby girl.

She would be my sunshine, with a sweetness that won't end.
And when she grows up one day she would be my closest friend.
She would be the reason I would always try my best.
For my little angel baby girl would be my greatest test.

When God entrusts to you an angel, who has left her wings for you.
Encircle her with love with everything you do.
Let her know God made her, and that He trusts you with her care.
Be sure to make time for special moments with her to share.

And when at night she finally says her prayers and goes to sleep
I Thank Him for my angel, and ask for him to always keep
A watchful eye and hand to protect her from this world.
Protect my little angel; protect my baby girl.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Time

We all know...A man who travels alone ..travels the fastest..My daughter teaches me how to travel together....ToThe World You may be Just  One Person But...for  One Person you may mean the World!!!

http://www.tacmovie.com/

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Family


A Family is like a circle
the connection never ends
and even if at times it breaks
in time it always mends
a family is like the stars
somehow there always there
families are those who help
who support and always care
A Family is like a book
the endings never clear
but through the pages of the book
their love is always near
A family is many things
with endless words that show
who they are and what they do
and how they teach you so you know
but don’t be weary if it's broken
or if through time its been so worn
families are like that-
they're split up and always torn
but even if this happens
your family will always be
they help define just who you are
and will be apart of you eternally


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Protect your own Armour

We recently had a great family home evening lesson put together by
one of our kids (with my husband's help).  This is what they did:

They had an orange and a big clear picture of water. Our son
asked the family if they thought the orange would float or sink.
The family gave their guesses and then they put the orange in the
container of water and it floated.  Then our son asked what we
thought would happen if the orange was peeled.  Then they peeled
the orange and put it back in the water and it sank.

By Wendy



Then they had us read the bible from Ephesians 6:11-20 about
putting on the whole armor (or armour) of God.  Verse 6 reads: "Put
on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against
the wiles of the devil."


The they explained that the orange with its peel on is like having
the armour of God on.  With its "armour" the orange is able to rise
above the things of the world.  When it is stripped of its armour
then it is pulled down by the things of the world.

They explained what the armour is as listed in Ephesians, and what we
can do to protect our own "armour" in order to rise above the things
of the world.  Then they challenged us to pick an area where we can
improve and work on this throughout the week.  Try this lesson in
your own homes!

So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us.

Children ask better questions than adults.  "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"  
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
SO much for Growing up!!!


Friday, March 11, 2011

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body

"What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?"
In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources--all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.


Teacher :Which letter Comes after "A"
Dennis : All of them.
(oh Yeah?)


Ten tiny little fingers that always want to play,
That never stop exploring the wonder of today.
Ten tiny little fingers that from the very start,
Will reach out for tomorrow yet always hold your heart.



The smile that flickers on baby's lips when he sleeps- does anybody know where it was borne? Yes, there is a rumor that a young pale beam of a crescent moon touched the edge of a vanishing autumn cloud, and there the smile was first born . . .
-- Rabindranath Tagore